ACKNOWLEDGE SELF-SABOTAGE

Last year I decided to take a couple of weeks off from the blog. A few weeks turned into a few months and before I knew it, it was 2018.

I started working every day last year and didn’t have the time to write. And some days I didn’t have the energy after work to write.

I didn’t want to abandon the blog, but I couldn’t bring myself to work on it either. My motivation for writing, along with many other things, was gone. I was focused purely on work; I was focused on making money.

I’ve been carrying debt for nearly a decade and I’m no longer willing to just “live with it”. That’s why I’m working seven days a week. I’ll do whatever it takes to be debt-free.

But nearly six months into my “whatever it takes” plan, I had a little breakdown. There wasn’t any progress. My student loans weren’t budging and neither was my consumer debt.

How can I work seven days a week and still have more month at the end of my money? Where’s the money going?

Then it hit me. I don’t stick to my budget. I really don’t. Whether at the grocery store or shopping for toiletries, I consistently overspend. I never walk out of the store with just the one or two items I went in for.

There isn’t any extra money because I spend it all on things I supposedly “need”. 

I had a very well thought out budget on paper, but when it came time to implement that budget, I failed miserably every month. You can imagine how frustrating it can be to work every day but find that you’re no better off than before you started.

I was exhausted and stressed but more than anything I was disappointed.

Why was I committing financial self-sabotage?

I’ve read that self-sabotage is often a result of fear. I’m not afraid of being debt-free. Or am I? I really don’t know. I need to spend more time dissecting my spending habits to figure out why I do it, but since acknowledging it, I have noticed that my overspending has decreased which is definitely progress.

If you’ve set a goal, but feel like you’re not making any progress ask yourself, and be honest, are you getting in your way?

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